Absolutely
by slowdownlittlelady
Summary: Do you mean it? Kenlos slash. Not sure what to rate this as so we're gonna go with T just to be safe!


Carlos cautiously glances to his left, carefully eyeing Kendall. Neither of them has spoken since Carlos blurted out those three words; those dumb three words that could have very possibly just ruined his life. He wasn't planning on saying them, honestly. They somehow slipped out in the heat of the moment. He looks down at his lap, his fingers fidgeting from nerves. His eyes shut as he leans his head against the window, all thoughts focused on what happened just twenty minutes ago.

"_I had a great time at the beach, Kendall. Thank you for bringing me today," Carlos sighs happily as he stands on his tiptoes to kiss Kendall's cheek. "No problem, Carlos. Anytime," When Carlos pulls back he notices a lopsided grin taking over his boyfriend's face and he giggles a bit as they make their way to Kendall's car. _

_Once they've got all their beach stuff loaded into the trunk, Carlos goes to make his way to his seat but is stopped by a hand on his wrist. He's pulled back and pressed up against the side of the car, Kendall's bright eyes staring deeply down at him. When he goes to question the other boy he's cut off by a pair of lips placed onto his own. _

_Moaning at the fierceness that is Kendall's kiss, Carlos quickly kisses back with just as much fervor. Kendall has him pinned to the car; both hands on either side of Carlos' head, mouth moving hotly down the Latino's neck. He nips and sucks and licks and Carlos really isn't thinking clearly at this point. He's insanely turned on and just wants more of Kendall,__needs more of Kendall._

"_God, Kendall, I love you."_

_In an instant Kendall's heat is gone and Carlos opens his eyes to see him standing at least 15 feet away, a look of shock on his face. Carlos is confused and lost- then he realizes. He said that out loud. _

"_We should go," And then Kendall is in the driver's seat, starting the car._

Slowly opening his eyes to see how much longer of a ride he's in for, Carlos lightly sighs in relief when he recognizes that they're only about five minutes from his house. Those five minutes go agonizingly slow for Carlos, who is now all too aware of the depth of his words. A million different scenarios are running through his mind; Kendall dropping him off at home and never speaking to him again being the one of highest concern. Carlos is absolutely terrified by the time they pull up his house.

He's shaking, he can feel it. But he can't stop. Does he just get out and let Kendall go home to forget about him? There are tears in his eyes and he jumps in surprise when Kendall takes his trembling hand to intertwine their fingers together.

They stay that way for a few moments, Carlos' heart hammering in his chest while Kendall rubs his thumb over the back of Carlos' hand soothingly. When the silence is finally broken, it's by Kendall, and it throws Carlos off completely.

"Do you mean it?"

He doesn't answer for a minute. He's still shaking and his heart is still beating rapidly but Kendall is still holding his hand, too, staring at Carlos, desperate for an answer.

Carlos' eyes meet Kendall's, eventually. Neither boy is sure how long it took; it felt like hours to the both of them, anyway. The smaller of the two can see the unshed tears building up in Kendall's eyes and automatically his own eyes start to water. He bites his lip and nods, "Absolutely," he says, never breaking eye contact.

A tear makes its way down Carlos' cheek, and Kendall uses his free hand to wipe it away. He lets his hand rest against the warm cheek for a couple of seconds before using it to pull Carlos forward. Meeting halfway between the two front seats, Kendall places a soft kiss to Carlos' lips before pressing their foreheads together, eyes closed.

"Kenny?"

Kendall's eyes blink open and he smiles wide with a small chuckle and goes in for another kiss but Carlos stops him. He pulls away from the blonde completely, tears slowly making their way down his face. He hurriedly opens his door and darts up the driveway and into his house, straight up to his room where he slams the door and falls to his knees, quietly sobbing.

It's only a few seconds later that his door is being shoved open, Kendall standing in the entranceway looking more confused than ever before. Seeing his boyfriend on the floor like this wasn't anything he wanted to see, ever. He gets to the floor and crawls over to Carlos, tries to wrap his arms around the smaller boy in a comforting hug but he's rejected. Carlos pushes him away, making Kendall fall over onto his back while he stood up and backed away.

"I'm sorry, Kendall. I'm sorry! I didn't mean- I didn't mean to say it then, not like that. But you can't just- you can't, I can't- I told you I love you, Kenny! And then y-you ignore me for 30 minutes in the c-car? Then when you kiss-kissed me, you laughed. What does that- why did you- I'm sorry, Kendall. I'm so sorry."

Carlos collapses back to the floor, his face buried deep in his hands. His whole body is shaking, wracked with sob after sob. Kendall ventures over toward Carlos again, only this time he doesn't try to touch him. He takes a seat in front of the crying boy, tears of his own now making tracks down his face.

"Carlos?" The only response he gets is a flinch and a sniffle, "Carlos, please. You don't… You aren't the one that needs to be sorry, okay? It's me. I-I'm the one that should be apologizing. I'm a jackass. Carlos, listen to me, please."

Carlos' cries quiet down a bit and he raises his head to let out a quiet "okay."

"I'm sorry for how I reacted. I was caught off guard. I know that- I know that's no excuse, alright? But- for the, um, past few weeks, I suppose, I've been trying to- to figure out how to tell you that I, uh- and then today was perfect, Carlos. I planned a beach date for us because I know how much you love the beach. We-we were supposed to spend the day at the beach, together, and then I was going to take you to dinner. Ya know that steakhouse you like? I wanted to take you there and then after I'd suggest a walk. It wasn't- I guess there wasn't really anything special about my plan after all, but I was going to tell you, Carlos. And then you said it today, when we were kissing and I thought that- that it was just a caught up in the moment sort of deal and I panicked.

I totally froze up and I'm so, so sorry, Carlos. I've never been sorrier in my life and I can't lose you, I can't. I just- I didn't know what to do. And then you told me you meant it and I got so… happy. Because I- so I kissed you. But then you were running away and now we're here and- I'm sorry."

Carlos looks up at Kendall; face red and tear stained, to find the boy staring at the floor, tears of his own running silently down his face. The shorter boy rises to his knees and slides close to Kendall, taking hold of his chin and jerking his face so they were forced to make eye contact. Their eyes mimic each other, both showing fear and honesty.

"What are you trying to say, Kendall? I'm done assuming for the day, please just tell me if you-"

"I love you, Carlos. So much that it hurts sometimes. What I feel for you goes so far beyond love, I don't think there's even a word to describe it. You make my heart spin when you smile or laugh or blush and my stomach is attacked by butterflies whenever I look into your eyes. When I'm with you I feel right, like I could do anything- no fears or restraints holding me back. I love you. You make me feel whole and I don't care how cheesy and cliché this sounds, I really don't. Because I love you. I _love_ you."

It's quiet in the room, save for the occasional sniffle from either boy. With their eyes still locked, Carlos asks softly, "Do you mean it?"

Kendall reaches forward and pulls Carlos in with a hand on the back of his neck, putting all the love he feels for the wonderful boy in front of him into this one kiss.

"Absolutely."

* * *

**A/N:** Well howdy, y'all. This was inspired by paragraph 24 of _You Are Jeff_ by Richard Siken, _"__You're in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won't tell you that he loves you, but he loves you."_

Nothing too fancy or long but I figured why not? This wasn't really proofread or beta'd at all so sorry if there are mistakes? Hopefully some of you enjoyed this. Thank you for reading! :)


End file.
